Public Affection

I don’t quite understand the need for overly expressed displays of public affection. I don’t see the necessity or the benefits of sucking someone’s face in public unless – and only unless – they’re dying and you’re performing CPR. In that case, go for your life and save theirs while you’re at it. But in all likelihood, when I see two humanoid figures joined at the face, they’re more than likely just two hormonally charged people kissing. I have nothing against showing a bit of affection but there’s a point where it’s overbearing. This begs the question, how much affection is too much affection?

There are always the tame forms of public affection that are just enough to show who you’re with and not cause a scene. Holding hands is a good example, as it says, “I like my space but I need your touch.” And there’s the holding manoeuvres (her holding his arm, him holding her, and holding each other) which say, “I need you close.” Then there are the slightly cheekier displays like the hands in each other’s back pocket and the bum slap/grab. The latter saying anything from, “you’re so sexy,” to “you’re naughty and I like what you did last night/this morning/a moment ago.” All of which are neither offensive nor annoying. The only problem is when a bum slap turns into a “DON’T TOUCH ME!” situation and then you (most likely the male) are in a whole lot of trouble.

Now the lips are a very sensitive area – literally – and where it can so easily go too far. A simple peck on the lips or cheek is widely accepted in public. A good make-out, accepted at the movies and on the dance floor of your favourite night club, not so much at a cafe or a fancy restaurant. Then there’s the I-suck-your-face-you-suck-my-face-let’s-play-tongue-hockey-and-pass-the-saliva manoeuvre. Totally unaccepted anywhere but where no one else can see.

And finally to the reason why I’m writing about public affection in the first place... the big shobangobang. No, not sex in public – that’s another story. While I was waiting for my train to go home after work, I noticed a woman sitting on a man’s lap and it looked like they were five minutes from getting undressed and getting it on. It’s not like it was midday at a suburban train station where they would be the only commuters on the platform. Not at all. It was just at the end of peek hour at the train grid’s central station. The shobangobang, totally unaccepted and definitely too far. I’m not against showing your feelings but come on, really? Do you really need to suffocate each other? There’s a time and place for everything, so take a breath and hold hands.

Needtogetmymrsopinionitis

I don’t understand why guys need their girlfriend’s, wife’s, female friends’, or even sister’s opinion when it comes to shopping for new clothes. I’m coining it ‘Needtogetmymrsopinionitis’. Have we lost function in our eyes that we can no longer differentiate between what looks good and what looks stupid? We are bombarded with enough images of ‘what looks good’ each day that it’s not only impossible but also irresponsible to look like a douche. Of course there are occasions when being well dressed doesn’t really matter. The list is short: at home on your day off, 8am lectures, and where you have no one to impress. At home, wear whatever you like... unless you have someone to impress. Early start to uni, go in what you slept in... unless you have someone to impress. Where you have no one to impress... when does that ever happen? Essentially, there is no reason not to be well presented because undoubtedly there is someone you’re looking to impress whether it's your wife, girlfriend, or the girl who sits on the other side of the room

So, why do we find it so hard to make our own decisions when it comes to choosing what to wear? To be honest, I suffer from Needtogetmymrsopinionitis and I still don’t understand why. Before I was with my wife, I had no problem picking a shirt off the rack, trying it on in the change room, and then purchasing it at the counter. It’s a simple three step process that’s been turned into a quadratic equation because I want to look as good as she does when we step out into public. Maybe I’m answering my own question and if I am maybe it’s time I, and I’m sure there are others, bite the bullet, take out the plastic and buy that piece of garment for myself and by myself. I’m sure the girlfriend, wife, or girl you want to be your girlfriend and/or wife has no problem making the same decision. Besides, there’s always a return policy.

Ladies don't forget the wedding suits

I am recently married and wondered just how much I actually contributed to the planning of the wedding formalities and celebrations. I don't have to think long or hard because the list is rather short and simple -- cars and suits. I don't know much about cars so we just got an Audi A4 from Europcar (although we ordered an A6 but after some confusion that's what we ended up with). However, I have worked in menswear for a couple years and have dealt with a number of wedding parties, so it surprises me at the choices I made. 

 

Me and my groomsmen

My first choice was made for me. My then fiance, now wife, picked my suit while she worked for Paul Smith at David Jones. A simple black, single button, herringbone, pick stitch lapel suit by Z Zegna. For the groomsmen, black separates from Roger David. It surprises me because I always thought my groomsmen and I would all wear the same suits. We would have but 3 more Z Zegna suits would have blown my budget. In the end it didn't really matter. I think we all looked like we belonged to the same wedding party. So ladies, don't forget the wedding suits, and here's my message to you all coming from my experience.

It's the one job you give your fiance. It's the one job he has to get right. However, finding the right suit amongst the thousands available is like picking a bra and panty set for your wedding night - which he would undeniably enjoy doing for you. And as you may, or may not, explain the various details of your naughty little outfit to him, you may not realise that there are just as many details involved when selecting the right suit.

 

Firstly, there's the colour. There's black and then there's black. As you're well aware of, just because the tag says black doesn't mean it's the same black as your bridesmaids' dresses. There's an infinate amount of grays (charcoal included), navys, browns, tans, sand, and any other colour you can imagine. The simple solution is to find a colour wheel that matches your theme and stick to it.

 

The little details

Secondly, there's the style. Depending on how formal or informal you want your wedding to be, will dictate the style of your groom's suit. For formal weddings you can't go passed a dinner suit; and for casual weddings by the beach, there's nothing wrong with pants, thongs, and an open collared shirt. For everything else in between, there's your morning, lounge, cocktail, business, and everyday suit. Then there's the options of tails, single or double breasted; one, two, or no vent; peak or notch lapels, piping or pick stitching, pleated or slim trousers. To him it probably all looks the same.

 

Thirdly, there's the fabric and texture. Do you want pinstripes or plain, checks or ribbed? Does it matter if it isn't 100 per cent wool or will he sweat through his shirt if there's the tiniest trace of polyester. Does it have a sheen or does it shine too much? You don't want your photos lacking life because your groom's matt black suit sucked in all the light.

 

Finally, there's the cost. I leave cost last becasue if you really want that suit, get it. If he can't wear the suit you want on your wedding, when can he? Just be responsible. Much like how you were with your wedding dress.